From Planet Proctor
Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change!
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because
he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from
Day One! -- That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross
the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken! What is your
definition of chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the chicken!
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
30 April 2008
R.I.P.
Who knew? Who knew the government has been right about all the bad and evil things associated with any drug use that is not alcohol related.
Albert Hoffman passed away yesterday at 102. He is the scientist that isolated the chemical that is invisible, works in micrograms and was responsible for a whole sub-genre of music.
'Picture yourself on a boat, on a river....'
Thanks Al.
Albert Hoffman passed away yesterday at 102. He is the scientist that isolated the chemical that is invisible, works in micrograms and was responsible for a whole sub-genre of music.
'Picture yourself on a boat, on a river....'
Thanks Al.
29 April 2008
Flight patterns
This dude plotted aircraft in US skies during March of '05. Below is an animation of all the planes. Is really an amazing thing to see.
28 April 2008
27 April 2008
26 April 2008
25 April 2008
How convenient
Man oh man how I have tried. I have tried to not mention politics or other such nonsense that just irritates the hell out of me. I know I should be more concerned with who got booted from Dancing With the Stars, but that ain't gonna happen.
Why am I snippy? After the terrorist attacks in the US in 2001, all of a sudden Iraq became the 'enemy'. Why? Because they had weapons of mass destruction we were told. Cost Colin Powell his integrity didn't it? Then, when it became obvious Saddam didn't have a hand grenade, let alone a nuke it became, Al Qaeda insurgents are in Iraq. Ok, maybe, but not until we got here. Now, as the other threats just weren't true to begin with, we find out that Iran is supplying arms to insurgents in Iraq.
I know you are missing your programs, so I will stop now.
Why am I snippy? After the terrorist attacks in the US in 2001, all of a sudden Iraq became the 'enemy'. Why? Because they had weapons of mass destruction we were told. Cost Colin Powell his integrity didn't it? Then, when it became obvious Saddam didn't have a hand grenade, let alone a nuke it became, Al Qaeda insurgents are in Iraq. Ok, maybe, but not until we got here. Now, as the other threats just weren't true to begin with, we find out that Iran is supplying arms to insurgents in Iraq.
I know you are missing your programs, so I will stop now.
Have a Cuban
When I first came to Blighty, the first thing I did after fish and chips was buy a Cuban cigar. They really are nice.
That being said I may have 2 or 3 cigars a year. I was raised on Copenhagen snuff. Can't get that here, so I buy snus from Sweden. I try different brands always looking for that Cope flavour. I bought a can called Montecristo. Has a good taste, is in a metal can and is made from Cuban tobacco. Most excellent!
Please check your pre-cancerous lesions at the door.
That being said I may have 2 or 3 cigars a year. I was raised on Copenhagen snuff. Can't get that here, so I buy snus from Sweden. I try different brands always looking for that Cope flavour. I bought a can called Montecristo. Has a good taste, is in a metal can and is made from Cuban tobacco. Most excellent!
Please check your pre-cancerous lesions at the door.
24 April 2008
Google Streetview Europa
I just read where Google has started Streetview in Europe. Their first mapped cities are Rome and Milan.They tried Venice, but for logistical reasons the car with the camera on top didn't work. I notice they left out London. Is either, 'Sweet Jeebus!', who wants to drive there anyway or the congestion charge.
23 April 2008
Cry 'God for Harry! England and Saint George!'
Sadly, the English really don't celebrate this on the level that, say, the Welsh celebrate St. David's day, the Scot's celebrate St. Andrew's day(or Braveheart either for that matter), or how the Irish(and the US), celebrate that St Pat-somebody's day and how the US celebrates whoever wins American Idol.
So, without further ado, Happy Saint George's Day! See you at the pub!
Is there anything duct tape can't do?
From Red Green to Nascar, duct tape is a very handy tool. 36 years ago NASA astronauts used duct tape to repair their lunar rover.
Excuse me while I wipe away a tear and go tape something.
Excuse me while I wipe away a tear and go tape something.
22 April 2008
Tuesday Tipple
Manhattan
3/4 oz sweet vermouth
2 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
1 dash Angostura® bitters
1 maraschino cherry
1 twist orange peel
2 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
1 dash Angostura® bitters
1 maraschino cherry
1 twist orange peel
Combine the vermouth, bourbon whiskey, and bitters with 2 - 3 ice cubes in a mixing glass. Stir gently, don't bruise the spirits and cloud the drink. Place the cherry in a chilled cocktail glass and strain the whiskey mixture over the cherry. Rub the cut edge of the orange peel over the rim of the glass and twist it over the drink to release the oils but don't drop it in.
VARIATION: No bitters. Substitute a twist of lime for the cherry and orange. Hold the lime twist in a lighted match over the drink and then drop it in. The heat really zips up the lime flavor.
VARIATION: No bitters. Substitute a twist of lime for the cherry and orange. Hold the lime twist in a lighted match over the drink and then drop it in. The heat really zips up the lime flavor.
21 April 2008
20 April 2008
Scattered pictures, of the smiles we left behind...
Back in the day my little brother had a band. He and his pals practiced at our house.
Some neighbors weren't quite as musically open as our mom was. One day the gendarmes came by because the band was a rockin'. There's our mother, out in the yard, in the cops faces, rather forcefully explaining that these kids weren't on the street and doing drugs and jacking cars etc.
I was just thinking; that in todays enlightened world my mother would have been tasered and handcuffed and dragged to jail as a tear-uh-ist.
I always thought the good ole days were whatever days you were in, now I wonder.
Some neighbors weren't quite as musically open as our mom was. One day the gendarmes came by because the band was a rockin'. There's our mother, out in the yard, in the cops faces, rather forcefully explaining that these kids weren't on the street and doing drugs and jacking cars etc.
I was just thinking; that in todays enlightened world my mother would have been tasered and handcuffed and dragged to jail as a tear-uh-ist.
I always thought the good ole days were whatever days you were in, now I wonder.
19 April 2008
Saturday.....good
Going to drill some holes today(obligatory Tim Allen grunts), and generally just chill.
18 April 2008
Folicle Friday
I am starting a new semi-irregular feature celebrating hirsuteness in fact or fiction. Have to start this off with the coolest 'do' ever. As Warren Zevon sang, '..his hair was perfect'...
17 April 2008
Just trying to help
With the Olympics at hand it is nice to see that in China they are trying to accommodate speakers of other languages. It is especially helpful if, heaven forbid, someone had to go to the hospital.
16 April 2008
15 April 2008
They walk among us
They Walk Among Us !
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:
"Free to good home. You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50."
The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us
====================
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because,
he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime,
she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!
====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . .
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk...
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
They Walk Among Us!
====================
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?"
I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!
====================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!
====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They walk among us, AND reproduce!
14 April 2008
13 April 2008
12 April 2008
Web 2.0
Is it me, or is Web 2.0 very irritating? I understand the reasoning behind it, make every other word an advertisement. But the way it is used, like scrolling through a story and stupid little pop ups happening for words that may or may not be related to the story. Example: Scrolling down and the word 'year' has a little popup. Then you click it and get the definition of what a year is. Sheesh, I understand that western society has done everything possible to dumb down the populace, but this is ridiculous.
11 April 2008
10 April 2008
09 April 2008
08 April 2008
Wombat Wednesday
The Wombat Foundation
You can donate or buy wombat merchandise to help the little guys.
You can donate or buy wombat merchandise to help the little guys.
Tuesday Tipple
Singapore Sling
the original
Thanks to Drinkboy
| Singapore Sling |
|
| Shake with ice. Strain into an ice filled collins glass. Garnish with cherry and slice of pineapple. |
the original
 | ||
| SINGAPORE SLING | ||
| The Singapore Sling was created at Raffles Hotel at the turn-of-the-century by Hainanese-Chinese bartender, Mr. Ngiam Tong Boon. | ||
| In the Hotel's museum, visitors may view the safe in which Mr. Ngiam locked away his precious recipe books, as well as the Sling recipe hastily jotted on a bar-chit in 1936 by a visitor to the Hotel who asked the waiter for it. | ||
| Originally, the Singapore Sling was meant as a woman's drink, hence the attractive pink colour. Today, it is very definately a drink enjoyed by all, without which any visit to Raffles Hotel is incomplete. | ||
| Recipe 30ml Gin 15 ml Cherry Brandy 120 ml Pineapple Juice 15 ml Lime Juice 7.5 ml Cointreau 7.5 ml Dom Benedictine 10 ml Grenadine A Dash of Angostura Bitters Garnish with a slice of Pineapple and Cherry |
07 April 2008
06 April 2008
What's in a name?
Last week there was a story about a Scottish duke and duchess protesting one of the chains selling foie gras.
The story itself is really pointless, but the dukes name...
Angus Alan Douglas Douglas-Hamilton, Duke of Hamilton and Brandon, Premier Peer of Scotland, Hereditary Keeper of Palace at Holyrood House, PC, KT, GCVO, AFC
I believe his friends call him 'Al'.
The story itself is really pointless, but the dukes name...
Angus Alan Douglas Douglas-Hamilton, Duke of Hamilton and Brandon, Premier Peer of Scotland, Hereditary Keeper of Palace at Holyrood House, PC, KT, GCVO, AFC
I believe his friends call him 'Al'.
05 April 2008
Screamin'!
Just excited, as this is the fastest internet speed I have ever enjoyed. My ISP is rolling out 50 mb connections this summer. Still slow compared to the lady with the 40 gb connection.
04 April 2008
03 April 2008
History made today!
The Jules Verne 'automagically' docks with the ISS today @14.41 gmt. I feel so Zefram Cochrane.
02 April 2008
01 April 2008
Tuesday Tipple
Gin and Tonic
Serves 1
INGREDIENTS
• 2 oz. London dry gin
• Tonic water (from a fresh bottle)
• 1-2 ample wedges of lime
• Plenty of cold ice cubes
• Highball glass
DIRECTIONS
1) Chill the glass. You may want to fill it with ice, then empty it and refill, as some bartenders do with a martini glass.
2) Fill the glass with whole ice cubes. If you wish, take a wedge of lime and moisten the rim the glass with it.
3) Pour the gin over the ice, which should be cold enough that it crackles when the liquor hits it.
4) Fill glass almost to the top with tonic.
5) Squeeze one wedge of lime into the glass. Drop the squeezed lime into the drink as a garnish if you like; it’s not necessary, but can add a bit of extra flavor. (If you do, notes Dale DeGroff, make sure the peel has been washed.) Serve.
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